Dont be defined by what you cant do....

Recently (2009) I trained a young man with a mild physical deformity to one leg.  It caused discomfort and made some movements such as kicking difficult. It was a disadvantage - a disability.

However whilst the physical disability was limited, the Psychological disability was not. This young mans life was predicated around what he could not do because of his leg. Instead of accepting his limitations and training around them, he fixated around everything he could not do.

He constantly went from one reason to another for reasons that he could not perform - but it was always down to his leg. He could not perform a choke release - could not do press ups, could not punch the focus mitts.  His perceived problems were not just limited to the physical realm.  He felt his disability limited his career, his ability to make freinds - and although unspoken - I suspect his ability to attract a girlfriend.

In a way he was right.  Although there were no outward signs of his physical disability to mark him out. His attitude and approached screamed self pity and negativity. He was hard work to be around, he fixated on the reasons he was unable to do things. The minute he trained - he would explain to any new partners why he was limited.  Every technique - every punch, every movement was about his limitations. In fact his entire life focused around his percieved limitations.

His problem was not his leg but his head. His attitude, his self limiting beliefs.

I challenged his attitude - but he felt I did not understand. He lifted his training bottoms to show me his leg. He felt I did not realise what it was like for him to have a limitation. Having been a qualified nurse for 20+ years I did understand - I had seen brave people overcome impossible odds attempting to live a ‘normal’ life in extraordinary circumstances. People ‘living with’ or living through serious illness, loss of limbs, cancers, even terminal illness. I understood exactly what the problem was. Unfortunatly he didnt.

So my challenge to you is simple. What ever your age, your shape or your gender. Embrace your limitations, understand them and work around them. We all have limitations, physical, mental or social. Its called being human.

Our limitations may prevent us from doing some of the things we want to. But they dont define who we are.      It is our responce to our limitations that really defines who we are.

Paul Grey